Going Under
by Mistrus
Summary: Song Fic. Hermione is fighting a losing battle with her heart and her mind. Will she survive the Final Battle while her thoughts are in chaos? Or will someone help her along? WARNING: Character Death!


Well this certainly is new. I'm actually posting something for once. bah these stupid writing kicks! I want to write then I don't. It is super annoying! I love writing but when you just don't feel up to it you just can't. But oh well I'm back now. so here is a little song fic that I had to do because it wouldn't leave me alone after I listened to Evanescence- Going Under. I just immediatly though of Hermione and Severus and so this little plot bunny was formed.

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**- I own nothing of the Harry Potter world even though I wish I did..... but I'm completly fine with sticking the characters into diffrent plots to satisfy my craving!

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**Going Under**

Hermione was running through the grounds of Hogwarts ducking, as well as casting, the many spells, hexes, and curses sent her way. Some of the curses the Death Eaters were casting weren't Unforgivable but many of them should have been. Hermione watched as a Centaur got hit with a blue light and started swelling to an incredible size before exploding. She covered her face with her hands and spun on her heel but she was splashed with blood. She no longer cared at that moment. Too many things had happened in her short life and she had seen too much to be fazed any longer. Except for the sight of the tall pale man with the billowing robes as he silently hexed the other Death Eaters without giving himself away. Her heart clenched painfully at the sight of him and she froze. Her wand at her side, she couldn't move.

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you -  
50 thousand tears I've cried.  
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -  
And you still won't hear me.  
(going under)_

She had survived the daily torture sessions at Malfoy Manor, survived the Cruciatus from Bellatrix Lestrange with her mind intact, survived being in the presence of Voldemort but the sight of _him_ nearly killed her. She had cried every day in that cell, hoping that he was alive, that he was fine and not the murderer that everyone seemed to think he was.

She had cried for the unrequited love that she had. About how lonely he must feel. How he must have hurt when he had to kill Dumbledore. She never cried for herself. All her tears were for him.

She had screamed for hours while they tried to break her. Bellatrix trying to get her to tell them anything, anything at all about the Order, but she had prevailed every single day while saying nothing about how she _knew _that Snape was Dumbledore's man. How she _knew_ that he wanted Voldemort dead. About how much she _loved_ him.

Then she had seen him in the small group huddled in the study at Malfoy Manor. Bellatrix held the silver knife to her throat cutting just a little at a time, drawing blood. She always bled, from the hexes, the curses, the beatings but she survived but as soon as she caught his eye he had looked at her with complete, cold detachment as she screamed on the inside. Trying to convey the sounds to him through her eyes. He was deaf to her pleas, and she felt herself lose all hope. But soon after Harry rescued her, she didn't see him again. Not until now. Her heart beat wildly as the curses flew around her as people tried to fight for their survival. Hermione still didn't move. Her eyes locked onto the black figure.

_Don't want your hand this time – I'll save myself.  
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)  
Not tormented daily defeated by you  
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom_

_I'm dying again_

He seemed to sense her eyes on him and he looked at her and whipped his wand towards her. A blast of red light flew at her but she still didn't move. The light passed by her head and slammed into the Death Eater behind her. Snape ran over and grasped her shoulders tightly.

"You stupid girl! Pay attention! This isn't the time to lose your head! You insufferable know-it-all! You choose now, for the first time in your life, to stop waving your hands around?!" His face was twisted with fury with her as he shook her. "You are in the middle of the warzone Miss Granger! Not class!" She refused to respond but stared straight ahead and after a few seconds stepped back and looked around as if waking up. She glared at him and shook off his hands.

"I don't need your help! I can do this myself. I just need to wake up!" She fled from him her words hanging in the air behind her. Not even away where she was going. She just needed to get away. To get as far away from him she could. Her wand stayed firmly in her hand but she didn't raise it to the enemy. She no longer felt as if she could fight. She felt completely empty, drained. Tears burned at her eyes, blocking her vision. And she stepped right into the path of a stray curse that picked her off of her feet and slammed her into a pile of boulders. Hermione could hear the hollow thunk as her head connected with the solid stone. The curse had cut open her arms and side and she watched the rain fall as she bled. She no longer had to deal with it. No longer had to deal with the longings, the fear, the pain, the grief, the love. She closed her eyes and realized she could be free, for once in her life. Free to give up and quit. Free of all expectations, of all problems. Free from the burdens of the life she was living. She wouldn't have to deal with the people using her for her brains. The false friends and people who she thought cared but truly didn't. She was just free.

_I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through  
I'm going under_

She felt the blessed end when something brought her back from the edge and she was left to fall in the darkness. Hermione wasn't in the mortal world but she was not quite dead. She was stuck between the two. She was slowly brought back from the darkness and towards the Mortal world. She fought it. She wanted to die. Wanted the peace, wanted to just slip out and not return. She wanted to break through the strong hold that was her body and just escape. She wanted, no, _needed_ to be at peace. But something or someone was bringing her back.

_Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.  
(So I don't know what's real) So I don't know what's real and what's not (and what's not)  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
So I can't trust myself anymore_

"Please! Breath! Come one wake up! I love you, Hermione and don't you dare leave me!" She was aware of the voice. She knew it but at the same time had never heard it before. Hermione? Was that her name? She no longer remembered. She had been at peace. Why had they brought be back from that? Who was that talking? "Please, stay with me! I never meant to hurt you! Please just stay with me and everything will be alright." She was pulled into strong arms and tears fell on her face. She wanted peace but the fact that someone loved her enough to cry over her was just enough to bring her to the brink of the mortal world. Not to stay of course. Death had claimed her, marked her as his, but Death was giving her just long enough to say goodbye.

"I love you! Please, don't leave me." The man had dark hair that fell and created a curtain around his face. She remembered that face, the voice, and she definitely remembered the hands that were caressing her face gently. As if they were trying to memorize every crease and dip. Trying to burn the memory of the soft skin into their minds. The person who held her so gently didn't love her. He never could. He loved Harry's mother. He loved Lily. She was the reason for everything he did. He couldn't love plain, Hermione. The bushy hair, the plain brown eyes. He could never love the know-it-all. Her head hurt painfully. The fiction and the truth were blurring into a mess and she couldn't distinguish the two any longer. She couldn't believe what she heard or saw. Not knowing what was the truth or the lies. She tried to slip back into the darkness.

_I'm dying again_

_I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through_

I'm...

Something pulled her back sharply. Her last goodbyes. Death wouldn't let her come until she had said goodbye. She sighed and pushed towards the Mortal world. What had happened to her? There had been a war; she was hit with a spell or a curse. And she crashed into a pile of rocks and had died. She had died. That was a sobering thought, she had _died_. And she was going back to the other world. She would slip into the comforting blackness and be forever at peace. But she forced herself to open her eyes. It was strange, like the body was no longer hers. It wasn't comfortable, a bit painful. The body was too broken to house a soul any longer.

"Sev-rus." She croaked it out quietly between bloody lips. Her eyes opened slightly. The dark man looked at her with a small smile as he wiped away the rain from her eyelashes. he still smiled but Hermione could see the tears in his obisidian eyes.

"I'm here, love. I'm always here. Stay with me, love. Please, just a little longer." He was pleading with her. She didn't like that. She wrinkled her nose a bit. Severus Snape shouldn't plead.

"Can't… dy-ing. But can… st-ay… bit….long-er… and don-t… pl-ead…. Is… ann-oying." She wheezed it out and tried to lift a hand to touch him. She had never been so close to him before. Her shoulders were cradled in his arms and her back rested across his thighs. He smelled nice like fresh grass, parchment and mint. He grasped her hand as she weakly lifted it. He brought it to his face and kissed the palm before resting it on his cheek and closing his eyes.

"Silly girl. You weren't paying attention." He whispered it out and lightening flashed across the sky. His eyes closed. Thunder soon followed.

"Fir-st… time… f-or… ev-ry… thi-ng." She gave him a weak smile as he opened his eyes. He let out a chuckle that mixed with a sob.

"Why now though? Why _now_?" He held her a bit tighter and she winced slightly. Broken ribs and a punctured lung she guessed.

"Thou-ght… you..did-nt…… lo-ve…me… I… w-as… sca-red… Sev-rus… So… sca-red." She wanted to cling to him for her last moments of life. Hold onto him so tight and pretend that he would never let go. She wanted to feel his love surround her and protect her from harm. Little girl thoughts at best. Not the thoughts of a girl who had seen too much in her life. He pulled her closer as she started crying, his black cloak surrounding her in a warmth she could no longer feel. She was so cold but she could just feel the warmth of his arms and his body but nothing else.

"Of course I love you. How could I not? You are smart, beautiful, intelligent, way too young for me but I love you." He buried his face into her wet curls and inhaled deeply.

"I… lo-ve… you…….too." Her voice was going weaker and she wanted to cling to him. He looked at her sharply.

"Don't you dare leave me now, Hermione. Not now!" He clutched her tightly and whispered the words at her harshly. He was afraid to lose her, just as she was afraid to lose him. "I love you! Stay with me." She wanted too. Everything in her whole soul wanted to stay with its mate but Death was calling her back. They would meet again someday. Both in the afterlife before being reborn to try again.

"I…….ha-ve…..too…………wa-it……f-or……..me." She closed her eyes and she sighed lightly. The hands held her tightly.

"Don't leave me, love. Don't!" She didn't open her eyes and she let a smile grace her lips.

"Ju-st……. shu-t ….up…… and…..ki-ss….me………..you……… fo-ol." She felt his warm lips on hers, stars exploded behind her eyes and she slipped back into the darkness and her small breath left her body just as her soul did.

_So go on and scream  
Scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)  
I won't be broken again (again)  
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under_  
Severus clutched her lifeless form tightly before turning his face up to the sky and shouting. Hermione heard it vaguely but she slipped past everything and went through the darkness. She was at peace and she knew that although she wouldn't remember anything she would wait just for him.

I'm dying again

_I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through_

I'm going under (going under)  
I'm going under (drowning in you)  
I'm going under

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Well this was good to get out of my system. I promise to update the rest of my stories soon! I'm stuck on a epilogue for one but I'm sure I will figure it out soon!


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